49 Facts Too Funny To Be True But They Are 100% Accurate 2

26Pawning Guns

Pawning Guns

During the First Sino-Japanese War, a Chinese admiral pawned one of the main guns on his flagship to a scrap dealer, in order to pay off some gambling debts. This was the same war where the Empress embezzled from the army to fund her palace renovations.

27. In 1847, Robert Liston performed an amputation in 25 seconds, operating so quickly that he accidentally amputated his assistant's fingers as well. Both patient and assistant later died of sepsis, and a spectator reportedly died of shock, resulting in the only known surgical procedure with a 300% mortality rate.

28. Notorious pirate hunter Benjamin Hornigold once attacked a ship just to steal all of the crew member’s hats. His men had gotten drunk and lost their hats during a party the night before and they decided to board a ship to get replacements.

29. Daniel Steibelt, a top pianist in his own right once challenged his contemporary Beethoven to a musical improv duel. Steibelt did believe he had a shot. He was no kid, and had already composed for Marie Antoinette and operatized a successful version of Romeo and Juliet. He showed up to the improv and played one of his own works, for which he’d brought the sheet music. Once it was his turn, Beethoven turned the sheet music upside down and beautifully screwed the piece sideways and backward, overturning Steibelt's style all the while like a cat teasing a particularly boring mouse. No one ever challenged Beethoven to a musical improv again, least of all Steibelt, who never again set foot in Vienna.

30. One day Alexander the Great asked the philosopher Diogenes why he was sifting through the garbage, Diogenes responded, “I am looking for the bones of your father but I cannot distinguish them from the bones of his slaves.” Another time, Alexander asked Diogenes, if there was something he could do for him. Diogenes replied, “yes, get out of my sun”. Once when Plato defined humans as “featherless bipeds,” Diogenes brought a featherless chicken into Plato’s classroom, saying “Behold! I've brought you a man!” Alexander once told Diogenes that if he were not Alexander the Great, he would want to be Diogenes. Diogenes replied, “If I were not me, I too would want to be Diogenes.”

31War Chickens

War Chickens

During the Battle of Drepana of 249 B.C., Romans were attempting to take out the Carthaginian naval forces that broke a siege. Roman had “sacred chickens” to determine when the gods favored them. They threw the Chickens some grain, and if they ate, they attacked. Anyway, the commander at Drepana decides to attack, so the Roman commander brings out the chickens and tosses them some grains. The chickens ignore the grain. They don't even touch it. This is not a good omen. His sailors start to freak out. But he’s determined to attack so he tosses the chickens overboard and says “Let them drink if they don't want to eat!” It does not go down well with his forces but Romans are disciplined so they do as commanded. Romans ended up getting thoroughly trashed by the Carthaginians in the battle.

32. The first medical literature about the enema is in the Egyptian Ebers Papyrus (1550 B.C.). Their enema specialist was named “Shepherd of the Anus”. Their sole job was to keep the royal butthole healthy. There was also a “Keeper of the Royal Rectum” who was the pharaoh’s enema maker. According to Egyptian mythology, the god Thoth invented the enema.

33. A Greek philosopher named Chrysippus died of laughter after getting his donkey drunk and watching it try to eat figs. He was regarded as being stoic most of the time, yet he died of laughter.

34. In 1807, after his victory at Friedland, Napoleon proposed a rabbit hunt to celebrate. He invited the military’s biggest brass and collected a colony of rabbits. Once bunnies were released they didn’t scurry in fright. Instead, they bounded toward him and his men. The attack only ceased after their coach rolled away.

35. The Kettle War was a brief conflict between the Dutch and the Austrians. There was only one shot fired which hit an Austrian soup kettle. After which the Austrians promptly surrendered.

36Easter Rising

Easter Rising

During the 1916 Easter Rising, a battle to end British rule over Ireland, there was an hour-long ceasefire each day to allow the park-keeper of St. Stephen’s Green to feed the swans in the park. This ceasefire, however, didn't stop them from destroying his house, though.

37. Adolf Hitler took 28 different pills for “agonizing flatulence.” Treatment included cocaine, amphetamines, human placenta, strychnine, and atropine. Violent mood swings, euphoria, attention lapses, and erratic behavior were among the noted side effects. His extreme diet, recurring stomach problems (likely psychosomatic) and reliance on quack drug pushers like Morell made life at his dinner table terrible for his guests.

38. Anal Sampling Mechanism is a reflex which detects the contents of the rectal vault and allows for voluntary flatulence to occur without unexpected voiding of feces. So yeah, there's a nerve in your a*s that lets you fart without sh*tting yourself.

39. In 1919 a tank containing 2,300,000 gallons of molasses used to sweeten drinks burst during a heatwave, flooding the streets of Boston with molasses traveling 35 mph killing 21 and injuring 150. The event has been called the Great Molasses Flood and for many decades since, residents have claimed that on hot summer days the area still smelled of molasses.

40. In London, in 1814, a vat containing over 610,00 liters of beer ruptured, causing other vats to burst. As a result, more than 1,470,000L of beer burst out into the streets. The London Beer Flood wave destroyed two homes and crumbled the wall of a nearby pub. 8 people died.

41Josip Broz Tito

Josip Broz Tito

Joseph Stalin sent several assassins to kill Yugoslavia’s dictator Josip Broz Tito. After a 5th failed attempt, Tito wrote to Stalin “Stop sending people to kill me. We’ve already captured 5 of them, one with a bomb and another with a rifle. If you don't stop sending killers, I'll send one to Moscow and I won't have to send a second.”

42. The KGB tried to blackmail Indonesian President Achmed Sukarno with videotapes of the president having sex with Russian women disguised as flight attendants. Before starting the blackmail, KGB invited Sukarno in a small private movie theatre and showed him the pornographic video, in which he was playing the main part. KGB agents were expecting him to get really frightened and that he would agree to cooperate with them at once, but everything happened vice versa: Sukarno fondly thought that it was a gift from the Soviet government, so he asked for more copies to take them back to Indonesia and show them in movie theatres. Sukarno said to flabbergasted agents that the people of Indonesia would be very proud of him, if they could see him doing the nasty with Russian girls.

43. Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart once wrote a 6-Part Canon titled “Leck mich im Arsch,” which loosely translates to "Lick me in the Arse.” He also used to keep a journal detailing his farts.

44. Franklin D. Roosevelt once entered a room unannounced during a visit by Winston Churchill. Churchill happened to be naked (having just stepped out of the bath), and Churchill, being Churchill said: “The Prime Minister of the United Kingdom has nothing to hide from the President of the United States!”

45. Danish astronomer, alchemist, and nobleman Tycho Brahe lost his nose after challenging another scientist to a duel to settle once and for all whose mathematical formula was better. He wore a metal prosthetic nose for the rest of his life. He also had a pet moose that died when it drank too much beer and fell down a flight of stairs. In 1601, Tycho attended a party during which he held himself from going to the bathroom, subsequently suffered a burst bladder, and died 10 days later.

46Michael Collins

Michael Collins

In the late 1910s, the British Army was looking for Michael Collins to arrest him as he was part of Dáil Eireann (an Irish state Government which the British did not recognize as they did not grant Ireland independence). Collins was the head of intelligence and was in charge of IRA hit squads so he was a priority for the British to find and arrest. You'd think the man would go into hiding somewhere right? Nope, he rode around Dublin city on a bicycle in plain view because the British army had no idea what he looked like.

47. There was a famous 18th-century racehorse named Potoooooooo. His original name was Potatoes. Potatoes acquired the strange spelling of his nickname, Pot-8-Os, when a stable lad was asked to write it on a feed bin. The lad’s version, Potoooooooo, was said to amuse his lordship so he kept it.

48. During the Victorian Era, “Female Hysteria” was a catchall term for many feelings of malaise, including when a woman was horny. Doctors “treated” the ailment by masturbating the women until they reached “hysterical paroxysm”, or as we call it today, an orgasm. The electric vibrator was the fifth home electronic ever invented. Doctors created vibrators after growing tired of masturbating ‘hysterical’ women. It was then prescribed to women who experienced “hysteria.”

49. Before the invention of the stethoscope, physicians would literally put their ears on chests to auscultate. This led to René Laennec, a French physician, to create the stethoscope because he got too embarrassed to check the heartbeat of a female patient by tapping at her chest. So, he rolled up a sheet of paper to create a tube, and then placed it on her chest. The method worked, and the stethoscope was invented.