A police officer called the station on his radio.

“I have an interesting case here. And old lady shot her husband for stepping on the floor she has just mopped.”

“Have you arrested the woman?”

“Not yet. The floor’s still wet.”


Customer: What would you recommend from the menu?

Waitress: The beef tongue is very good today.

Customer: Yeech! I’d never eat anything that came from an animal’s mouth.

Waitress: Okay. How about some eggs?


Did you know that a very good memory is often a sign of an excellent lover?

I read that on February 11, 2017 in the New England Journal of Behavioral Studies, issue 2016, Q3.


Paddy says to Mick, I’m ready for a holiday, but this year I’m going to do it a bit different. Three years ago I went to Spain and Mary got pregnant. Two years ago I went to Italy and Mary got pregnant. Last year I went to Majorca and Mary got pregnant.

Mick asks, “So, what are you going to do different this year?”

Paddy replies, “I’ll take her with me!”

Asking the boss: “Why do you only hire married men?”

Boss: “Because they’re used to taking orders and being yelled at.”